They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding…

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?

mirroya:

Вслух же она спросила:
- Скажите пожалуйста, куда мне отсюда идти?
- А куда ты хочешь попасть? - ответил Кот.
- Мне все равно… - сказала Алиса.
- Тогда все равно куда и идти, - заметил Кот.
- …только бы попасть куда-нибудь, - пояснила Алиса.
- Куда-нибудь ты обязательно попадешь, - сказал Кот. - Нужно только достаточно долго идти.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where—” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“—so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

Alice in Wonderland

women like “Did I Marry a Man or a Boy?” feel like they just can’t compete with The Other Woman—the mother.stop coming up with excuses, and recognize that he’s a mama’s boy because you let him be one. It’s. Your. Fault.because his mother has set requirements and standards for that man, and his woman has not.
a man who loves you will be the man you need him to be if you have requirements— standards you set to make the relationship work the way you want it to.A real man is happy and eager to live by your rules, as long as he knows what the rules are and he’s sure that abiding by those rules will help keep the woman he loves
happy.
The only thing you have to do is establish the rules, say them out loud early in the relationship, and make sure he sticks to them.
how, exactly, was he supposed to know that his interactions with his mother violate his wife’s standards?

Men cannot read minds, and we are completely incapable of anticipating what you want.
So you have to speak up.
she was afraid that he would leave her—that if she tried to drive a wedge between her man and his mom, he’d choose his mother over her.if your man truly loves you and he’s a real man, he’ll figure out a way to get his mom onboard with making his woman happy—to smooth everything out so that the relationship can work for all parties involved.
First, acknowledge that you can’t compete with this woman.If he loves his mother and they have a good
relationship, you’re not going to get in the middle of that.But you most certainly can work with your man and his mom by controlling what you do have control over—by using your powers to set standards and requirements that he needs to abide by as the two of you work to create a family or to blend your families together.
Leaving a woman and children in the house at a quarter to eleven at night—whether to bake cookies or go to the strip club—is unacceptable if that woman thinks it is.
And if she lets her man know this, she’s making him aware of the standards he needs to live up to in order to stay in their relationship.
Tell him that you don’t ever want to come between him and his mother, but you sure don’t want to compete
with her, either, so he’ll have to do what he has to do to let hismother know that (a) under no certain terms are the needs of his girlfriend/fiancée/wife ever going to come second, and (b) she should respect his need to be a protector and provider for the woman to whom he’s professed his love.
All you have to do is speak up.
Tell him straight up: “I need you here to protect and provide for us, to give us security in our lives, to help raise these children, to set an example for this boy, who needs to see what real men do, and for this girl, who needs to know what a real man is so she can find one of her own someday. I need you to be the
head of this family.”

when a man approaches you, he has a plan. And the main plan is to sleep with you, or to find out what it takes to sleep with you. We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we
don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. Period. a man always wants something.  And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if you’re willing to sleep with him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him. he liked what he saw from across the room and now he’s going to go over there and get it. He doesn’t care anything about your personality or what you do for a living. He just wants to know if he might be able to sleep with you, and he’s talking to you to determine exactly how much he has to invest to get what he wants. When I say, “invest,” I’m not talking solely about monetary values; I’m talking about your values—your requirements.

He’s trying to see if your “price” is too high, if it’s affordable, if he can get it on credit, whether he can get it tonight. If you don’t lay out any requirements, then you’re free—game on. He knows he can get you to the bed with minimal effort. But if you tell him up front you have requirements—that you need his time, his respect, his attention—then he knows you’re expensive, that he’s going to need to put in work to get the cookie. For some men, that cost may be too high—they’re just looking for a good time and have no interest in “investing” time and respect and a commitment. One man may assess right away, “Man, I got to go by there two or three times a week, gas is five dollars a gallon, I got this other woman I’m hollering at, I’m going to have to call her and all of that. No, that price is out of my range.” For another man, your sticker price may be affordable.
This is useful information to you because now you know when a man approaches you, you can cut through the riffraff, lay down your requirements (which I’ll talk about later), and determine right away whether he’s willing to pay for what it is he’s looking for.